The thing with cosmetology

 This entry doesn't have anything to with Dixie, beyond the fact that it's about careers and babies need money.

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J: "Maybe I should work on computers"

K: "I don't know why you don't already. You're really good at it and you seemed to enjoy it"

I could say that to Joshua so easily yet here I am doing beautiful haircuts only for close friends and family because I let my license expire in 2013 and didn't feel like renewing it. Sometimes after doing a particularly great haircut I feel kind of guilty that here I am with a wonderful gift and I don't share it with anyone except my closest. Then when people stop them in the world and say "wow your hair looks great! Who did it?" They can only say "my friend" which translates into "someone you will never have access to because she is a grouchy recluse."

The reasons I didn't bother with renewing my license are numerous. Some more complex than others. The simplest being that at the time of the expiration it was very expensive to renew and I simply didn't have the money, but as of march 2015 the renewal price has been reduced by 20% and now may be reasonable. Besides, it takes money to make money and at this point I have spent more money on corsets that no longer fit. As a side note, as soon as they do fit I'm going back to waist training. 

The most complex reason I didn't try to get back into the business is that, despite my knack for it, the whole industry goes against my beliefs and is, in fact, in conflict with my very being.
Ok so you need a hair cut? Your hair is flopping all over, it's shaggy all in your eyes, hanging down your neck, making you hot and sweaty. It whips around in the wind and hits you in the face and it looks terrible unless you spend at least 20 minutes fighting it. Fighting like strangling with tight braids and elastics, impaling with bobby pins, and drowning in products. All in all, it has because a nuisance. Well for that I can and would love to help you.

You look in the mirror and just feel kind of blah. You feel like your name might as well be Ester. You feel as though your looks resemble a 50 year-old, librarian, mother of 6, but you actually are a vivacious 20 something year-old mother of 1 (or two or three, whatever, not 6.) You wanna do something fun with your hair to spice things up. Maybe shave the sides, maybe dye it purple. Whatever, I would love to!

Now....

your boyfriend dumped you and you want to become a new person by doing something drastic that you have never thought about before and you will seriously regret tomorrow all the while being hysterical and counting on a hairdresser to pretend to be your friend and care about your personal life. No.

You "NEED" to get your hair straightened and your nails done. No.

You sit around all day cramming cheetos in your mouth and watching celebrity gossip shows. When you're not doing that, you enjoy chain smoking marlboro 100's. You tell me you want a haircut that is slimming and makes you appear youthful and hot like Selena Gomez. No.

Your hair is breaking in the comb, like just ripping out in chunks. It's bleached platinum blonde and feels like straw. You tell me you want some more highlights because your boyfriend is getting out of jail. No.

You preface the haircut by saying that you've never liked any haircut you've ever gotten your entire life and you cry every single time because we all know that hair means everything, it will never grow back and it will be the end of you if it's not perfect. No.

You are a preteen girl who has dyed their hair with highlighters and kool-aid. Now you want me to bleach it white. No.

See this is what I mean.

I like normal people who view their hair as just hair and they want no nonsense cuts and colors. I don't like having to decode people who give requests like "you know shorter here, longer here, make this piece curl out like this, make me sideburns out of my hair because I don't have any sideburns."

I mean some people just... you know that's what it comes down to in these scenarios.

I don't like people and I don't like working with people.

Let me tell you a story.

I once cut Joshua's mother's hair. When I was done I thought it looked pretty good for wispy little old lady hair. A few days later he was talking to her on the phone and she said 

"Kristine is just no good as a hairdresser." 

"What do you mean mom? I thought you liked it?" 

"No honey, the haircut was beautiful but she doesn't know how to talk to people."

Now let that sink in.

That's what I mean when I say it's "in conflict with my very being."

Last time I saw a psychiatrist I was diagnosed with 3 things. Depression, OCD, and Social Anxiety. One, helps me make perfect haircuts, even if they take a long time, another makes me not want to show up for work, and the last makes it impossible to be a good hairdresser despite being able to cut hair really well. I know these are considered mental illnesses, but they are a part of me. Just as someone who is physically disabled would accept that their disability doesn't define them, but it's an undeniable part. A key aspect of a great hairdresser is in direct conflict with a part of who I am.
There's no way around that.

I know lately the media has been portraying socially awkward as "cute and funny" but when it's you and your life it can really cause problems and make normal tasks for functioning adults a real nerve wracking experience. In my case, it has caused my career to suffer. 

My conflict of belief is less of a hurdle, it just narrows down the choices for what type of establishment I'll want to work in.  

I don't believe looks are too important and really neither is hair so an upscale fancy pants salon is no place for me. I've already worked at one and a few days was all I could stand. 

I don't know squat about celebrities so I can't join in the salon gossip. I'm not exactly high fashion so often times I would be teased about the way I dress. Working there was probably some of the worst few days of my life. If you want a small example of what it feels like to be an off color girl in a high fashion workplace just watch the first few episodes of Ugly Betty. To top it off most high end salons charge out the ass for everything and their system of advancement is all based on product sales.
I'm a hairdresser, not a salesman. In all good conscience I won't convince someone to spend $50 on hair products they don't need. If I think one would legitimately be of service to you, sure I'll make a suggestion but I'm not pushing anything. It's just hair. There are more important things to spend $50 on, like electricity bills and food. That attitude keeps me at the bottom of the totem pole but that's how I honestly feel.

The beauty industry is a money making machine based off people's insecurities and low self esteem. You don't need anything to be beautiful, but if everyone found that out overnight all the high-end salons would be out of business. All the weave, all the dye, all the makeup, all the spray tans, all the nail polish and acrylics, gone.
I just want to help people look good without all the attitude and snake oil pushing.
Just good old fashioned haircuts.

The closest big name salon business model that nearly parallels my needs was great clips, but I quit via angry letter after having conflicts with management and, once again, not fitting in with the others. I also dislike the 15 minutes or less rule they have there. I mean, some people have a lot of thick hair and 15 minutes just wont cut it. Well it will cut it, but the result wont be that great and personally I don't like to half ass things. I should stick to booth rental or private business.

In conclusion, it is with some resignation that I will be renewing my license and going public.
So yenno, look for me.


I won't talk to you very much while I'm doing your hair, but you can always read my blogs if you want to know what's on my mind.