Everything I've thought

Here's everything I'm thinking about as I try to go to sleep: You'll probably see a lot of typos. It's late and I'm using an iPhone, whatever.

Annie was right it's really antnoying when people are telling you left and right how you should care for your baby. It's double annoying because they're just trying to help so you can't really be outwardly mad so you just have to choke on it and wear a tight smile like you've had plastic surgery.

I told myself "if I have this s 2nd coffee right now it won't really mess with my sleep." Now here I am, tired but unable to sleep.

When we will ever get ahead? Things were going good then Josh got downsized. I mean we are doing  ok with help from my family but damn, I guess I just miss having some disposable income. I'm spending too much time  online, looking at all the adverts, getting that greed and jealousy in my heart. Craving possessions when I have all the happiness for free.

I have no real want, or need, of any concern as of today. As far as life goes, things couldn't be better.

Dixie has been an angel as of late. You can put her down and she will hang out by herself. She smiles a lot and babbles, she plays with toys and watches her shows. She holds her head up herself and is working on crawling. She's great.

I got a hydroponics kit at a resale store. I want to get that going soon. I always love to have plants inside but all the apartments that poor people can afford are practically windowless. 1 tiny gnome window per room. Terrible for plants. No plants would be possible if I didn't have the hydroponics kit. Finally, indoor living flowers.

I'm considering cutting all my hair off. I miss my pixie cut.

I love cleaning and fussing over my plants and let's. I wish Dixie would fuss even less so I can do the things I love. I love her and I love to fuss over and take care of her but seeing my bathroom spotless just makes me feel at ease.

I want to start back at school but we are so short on cash I will have to get a job. School plus work plus baby seems a little bit much to just bite off right away. I know. Other women have done it! But listen, I work hard but my spirit is a fragile thing. If I do nothing but school and work and baby all the time and never have moments to enjoy myself I will get all depressed feeling like I'm toiling my life away and I'm just a soulless wraith slogging through endless obligations. Then I'll cry in the shower and lay motionless around the house waiting for my soul to just leave my body in search of fun times.
Bad stuff. I will ease my way back into the workforce, just a couple of days a week, then try and squeak in a class or two.

Finally tired. Good night